Cold And Broken Hallelujah
by yo-doctor-death
Summary: Regina and Emma clearly love each other, but will their relationship hold fast against the pressures of the business?


**AN: This is an AU where Regina and Emma are longtime friends and opera singers. WARNING: Character Death**

* * *

Alone. Emma was alone, full of sorrow, and drunk. Hopelessly drunk. She looked over at the now empty wine bottle and at the near empty glass in her hand. She doesn't even remember opening the bottle or getting the wine glass from the cabinet – Regina's cabinet – she only remembers the phone call, and the feeling of her heart being ripped from her chest.

* * *

"Regina, wake up darling. The alarm went off ages ago." Emma gently shook the shoulders of the woman snoring lightly next to her. "Oh come on dear, it's nearly noon." Regina just groaned and pushed Emma's hand off her shoulder and rolled over. Emma chuckled and swung her bare legs off the bed.

"This is your fault you know. I told you we were too old to fuck like rabbits. 'Oh no, we'll be fine.' Yeah, and I'm Ethel Merman." Emma looked around the floor for her pants, vaguely remembering that Regina had thrown them near the bathroom last night. "Regina, seriously wake up. If we're both late to rehearsal they're going to know something's up." She pulled on her pants and continued her search, this time for her bra. "Alright, I'm up." Regina sat up and rubbed her eyes, the sheet barely covering her bare chest. She wrapped the fabric around her body, swinging her legs off the bed and standing, the cold hardwood creaking beneath her bare feet.

"Regina, where the hell did you throw my bra?" Emma looked over at the brunette and raised an eyebrow. "Somewhere over there." she said, gesturing towards the window seat. Emma spotted the garment and padded over, slipping it on and reaching behind her to clasp it.

"Care to let me know where my clothes are?" Regina dropped the sheet and caught Emma's eye. "I'm rather naked here." She winked and Emma's mouth fell open. "Well are you going to stand there and gawk or are you going to tell me where my clothing is?" she placed a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow at Emma.

"I uh…" she closed her mouth and shook her head, trying to regain focus. "They're in the bathroom." Emma threw a clean shirt on and grabbed her boots. "I'm heading to rehearsal, I'll see you there dear." Zipping her boots up, she picked up her purse and keys and left Regina's small New York apartment.

* * *

Regina looked in the mirror and turned the hot water on, grabbing her toothbrush and running it under the stream of water. After brushing her teeth she turned to the pile of neatly folded clothing on the counter next to the sink and smiled. Emma knew she hated wrinkles in her clothing, and it warmed her heart to know she took the time to fold them. She was brought out of her trance by her cell phone ringing in the other room, and she rushed out to catch it.

"Hello?" she said breathlessly.

"Regina? It's Robin, I'm coming over. I need to talk to you."

"I have rehearsal. I can't wait for you to drive over here."

"I'm already here. Buzz me in." he hung up the phone and she heard her bell ring. She rolled her eyes and walked to the door, buzzing him in.

"Robin, make it fast, I really have to go." She pulled her hair back into a clip, searching for her other shoe.

"Regina, look at me." She huffed and turned around, gasping when she saw him down on one knee.

"Robin, what the hell?!" she backed up, her thighs colliding with the table behind her, knocking the vase of flowers Emma had given her over, the water spilling all over the table.

"Regina, I love you, I really do. We've been dating for over a year now, and I know you love me too. Regina, will you marry me?"

Her mind started racing. If she married Robin, no one would question the late nights with Emma, they wouldn't question it when they both rolled into rehearsal together – late, of course. They would be free – well kind of – to continue this thing they had. If she married Robin, she could have security and still have Emma without any suspicion.

"Yes, I'll marry you." She smiled at him and he slid the ring onto her finger gently.

"I love you, Regina, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." He stood and kissed her on the lips. Regina was visibly uncomfortable and she stepped back.

"I love you too, Robin, but I really have to get going. I'm late to rehearsal." She slipped her other shoe on and grabbed her clutch, dashing towards the door. "Are you coming? I'm not leaving you in my apartment."

"Oh right. Yeah. Let's go." He walked over to her quickly, exiting the quaint apartment and heading towards the elevator. Regina made a scene about forgetting her keys inside and told him she'd see him later before rushing back inside. She closed the door and leaned her back up against it, her head resting against it as well.

A lone tear fell.

* * *

Regina rolled into the parking garage at the Met an hour and a half late for rehearsal. She rushed out of her car, locking it as she ran to the elevator, her heels clicking as she went. She pressed the button several times, as if the faster and more she hit the glowing yellow button, the faster the elevator would come. It seemed to take forever, but finally the doors rolled open and she jumped inside, pressing the button for the rehearsal space.

The door opened to a brightly lit hallway and she could hear the overture to Der Rosenkavalier playing. She ran to put her purse in her dressing room and then to stage. She walked on to the understudy for the Marschallin and Emma laying on the prop bed together. She caught Emma's eye and mouthed a hurried 'sorry' as she walked on to set.

"Sorry I'm late, Robin stopped by the apartment and it took longer than expected." She looked at the director and he nodded, eyeing the rock on Regina's finger.

"I see. No worries Ms. Mills. Take your time." He turned back to the two women on the bed.

Emma looked at Regina and her mouth fell open, her eyes filling with tears. She closed her mouth and shook her head, trying not to focus on the betrayal that had played out in the two hours she had been away from Regina. They were just laughing and playing coy this morning. What had happened? What had she done to make Regina say yes to that… that pig?

Emma missed her entrance and the director called for a fifteen-minute break.

"Clearly something isn't right. Let's take 15 and meet back here around 3:30, alright?" Everyone nodded and went their separate ways. Emma marched over to Regina and grabbed her arm, dragging her to her own dressing room, slammed the door behind her.

"How could you!? We were happy this morning! We were in BED together, for fuck's sake. Who even is he Regina? Who the FUCK is he?!" Emma turned to face the dark haired woman. "Do I mean NOTHING to you? Am I nothing?!" she didn't even let Regina speak. She was furious, her face flushed, her hands flying to emphasize her words. "No, you know what? Fuck you Regina. I fucking… I hate you. This is low. I fucking hate you. Get out. Leave. I don't ever want to see you again."

Regina's eyes filled with tears as she lowered her head and turned towards the door. Emma's words hit her in the chest. She looked down at the small rock on her ring finger and yanked it off as she exited the dressing room, shoving it into her purse. She wiped at her eyes and continued walking quickly towards the elevator to the parking garage. She had to get out of there. Emma hurt her, and she couldn't even think about trying to rehearse Rosenkav with her right now. It was too much. So she left.

She began driving aimlessly, no real destination in mind. Her apartment still had remnants of Emma in it, she couldn't go there. So she just drove. Thirty minutes turned to an hour, an hour turned into two, three, soon she lost track. It began to get dark and the headlights on the busy New York streets began to blur together. In her purse, her phone started to ring. She looked away for a moment, trying to find it. When she looked back at the street in front of her all she saw was headlights, heard the honking of a horn careening toward her, followed by the shrieking of metal against metal as the front end of her car smashed towards her. The last thing she saw was Emma's caller ID picture.

Emma left a voicemail when Regina didn't pick up. She figured the blonde was still upset with her, as she should be. She'd gone too far. She didn't really hate Regina. She just didn't understand why Regina would get engaged the day after Emma had confessed her love for the woman and they'd made love all night. It boggled her mind and she'd been incredibly hurt at rehearsal. After Regina hadn't picked up she'd decided to go to her apartment.

Letting herself in with the key Regina had given her, she examined the apartment. Regina clearly hadn't been home since this morning. Flowers were still scattered on the table, the water in a small pool just in the middle of the wood. There was a small envelope on the table with Emma's name scribbled on the front in Regina's loopy handwriting. She narrowed her eyebrows and picked it up, running her finger along the seem to open it. Inside was a small piece of stationery with more of Regina's handwriting.

"Emma,

Please understand that I did not agree to marry Robin because I love him. I don't. I love YOU. For the first Time in a long Time I'm feeling this wonderful warmth, this love, every Time I see you. You fill me with such great happiness and I can't imagine my life without you.

That being said, I agreed to marry Robin because so long as one of us has a significant other, no one will question our late nights together, our tardiness to rehearsals, our random "best friend" vacations. I knew that Robin would out me if I told him any of what I feel for you.

I'm sorry if you feel hurt in any way. I really am.

Please forgive me.

All my love,

Regina"

Emma felt a lone tear fall. Regina loved her that she knew for sure. Where was Regina though? Why hadn't she come home? Home. Had she really just thought of Regina's apartment as home? She didn't have time to think about that as her phone began to ring in her purse.

"Hello?"

"Yes, is this Emma?" a man's voice.

"Yes, may I ask who's calling?"

"I'm Josh, I work for the NYFD. I'm a first responder. I'm calling you because you were the last entry in Ms. Mills' phone."

She was silent for a moment.

"Ma'am, are you still there?"

She choked on tears.

"Yes, yes I'm still here. What's happened?"

"She was in an accident. It seems she swerved into oncoming traffic. Head-on collision. She's lost a lot of blood. We'll be taking her to the hospital if you'd like to come see her. She has a ring on her finger, do you know the fiancée's name?"

Emma felt tears begin to fall.

"Robin. His name is Robin."

"Thank you ma'am."

She heard the line go dead and dropped her hand, the phone falling to the floor. Tears were falling in a steady stream as she imagined Regina, bloody and broken, in the hospital by herself. She couldn't stand it. She grabbed her phone from the floor and her purse, rushing down the stairs to her car.

She screeched to a halt outside the hospital, throwing her door open and sprinting inside. She saw the woman at the front desk and hurried over to her. The woman looked startled when Emma cleared her throat and wiped her eyes once more.

"Mills. Regina Mills. She was in an accident, I need to know where she is, what room she's in, anything. I need to see her." The words spilled from Emma's mouth so quickly she was surprised when the woman nodded and began typing on the computer.

"She's still in surgery ma'am. You can wait right over there, though I'm not sure how long it's going to be." The brunette looked over her glasses at Emma as she gestured toward the ER waiting room.

"Thank you." Emma managed to get out before turning on her heel and walking to the waiting room. She sat in the corner furthest from the entrance, examining everyone around her and trying not to completely break down.

What if Regina didn't make it? What if the last thing Regina though about Emma was that she hated her? Emma felt tears running down her face and she hurriedly wiped them away before anyone saw. At the entrance she saw a man with greying hair walk in.

"Regina! I need to see my fiancée, where is she?!" He began yelling and demanding to see Regina.

Robin. Emma recognized the harsh voice from all the late-night phone calls that left Regina in tears in Emma's arms. Instantly her body was filled with rage. She stood and walked over to him.

"Robin?" he turned abruptly, startling Emma a bit.

"What are YOU doing here? Haven't you caused enough trouble already? She wouldn't be here if not for you!" His words stung.

"Me?! You think this is MY FAULT?" She retorted.

"Well yeah. You were the last person she talked to!"

"This is all YOUR fault, Robin. I can't tell you how many nights I held her in my arms, wiping her tears and soothing her pain, all because YOU couldn't see past your own dick!" Robin narrowed his eyebrows and glared at her, pondering this for a moment.

"Fine, you know what? You don't get to see her. Leave. Now. Your presence is no longer required." Emma felt her heart drop.

"You can't do that."

"Oh, but I can. She's MY fiancée." He smirked and began to turn away from her.

Emma swung before she could even think. Her fist came in contact with his cheek and he hit the floor immediately. She knocked him out cold. He laid in a heap of limbs on the floor, blood dribbling from his mouth. People around her sprang into motion; nurses checking on him, security escorting Emma out of the building, telling her not to return to the property tonight.

She sulked to her car, not wanting to cause more of a scene than she already had. Backing out of her spot, she drove slowly to Regina's apartment, trying to take her time in case Regina got out of surgery and wanted to see her. She didn't even know if Regina would make it out. She didn't really know what happened.

Emma pulled into her parking spot at Regina's and trudged up the stairs to her apartment. She never liked elevators. Unlocking the door, she pushed her way inside and sat at the table, putting the flowers she had bought the day before back into the vase, cleaning up the water and filling the vase up again. She wanted the apartment to look nice when Regina came home.

If Regina came home.

She shook her head and dismissed the thought immediately. Regina would be home. Soon. She opened the fridge and grabbed some leftover lasagna that Regina made for their dinner date last night. Emma loved the way Regina made lasagna. It was always layered perfectly; each layer was filled perfectly with meat and cheese and it was deliciously seasoned. Regina was a wonderful cook. She popped the dish in the microwave and hit reheat. Looking down at her watch she sighed. It had been just over two hours since she'd left the hospital, and not knowing how Regina was made her anxious. The microwave beeped and she pulled her lasagna out. Just then her phone started ringing, as though her thoughts summoned it.

"Hello?"

"Is this Miss Swan?" a woman.

"Yes it is, who is this?"

"I'm sorry to inform you, but Miss Mills didn't make it through surgery. Her fiancée told me to call you and tell you. I'm so sorry."

The plate fell from her hands, shattering on the hardwood. She hung the phone up and fell to her knees, ignoring the glass pressing into her skin. No pain could be greater than her heart being ripped from her chest. The sobs that shook her body were stronger than any earthquake. Her body heaved and quaked as she screamed at the world.

"Why?! Why her?! Why not me? What did she do?! She was good! SHE WAS GOOD! TAKE ME! PLEASE TAKE ME! IF YOU CAN'T GIVE HER BACK JUST TAKE ME TOO! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER!"

She beat her fists against the floor and cried some more. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore. She stood mechanically, ignoring the pain in her bloodied knees, and opened a bottle of wine. She grabbed a glass from the cabinet and sat on the couch, drinking until she didn't remember who she was.

She lamented over memories of Regina with each glass of wine. She smiled through memories of their first Rosenkav together, laughed about their hideous dresses at the Met Competition (but of course not Regina's, she'd made that dress. She also never let Emma forget it.) She remembered their first weekend in Paris; stolen kisses when no one was looking, whispered confessions, hushed moans and glowing skin. She remembered the first night Regina ever spent in her home in Santa Fe; Regina laughed at how cliché her décor was. Cacti and ceramic boots were in the living room, and her kitchen was rooster themed. "You really need a decorator." Regina had laughed. Suddenly Emma realized she was laughing over these memories by herself.

Alone. Emma was alone, full of sorrow, and drunk. Hopelessly drunk. She looked over at the now empty wine bottle and at the near empty glass in her hand. She doesn't even remember opening the bottle or getting the wine glass from the cabinet – Regina's cabinet – she only remembers the phone call, and the feeling of her heart being ripped from her chest.

Emma would never hear her laugh again, hear the smile in the conversations over the phone, see her bright eyes and how they darkened in the bedroom. She would never hear her say "I love you," never get to ask her to be her girlfriend, never get to ask her to marry her. She would never see her at the end of the aisle, dressed in white, the lace veil trailing down her back. She would never get to tease Regina about her silly purses and mussed hair in the morning. All these little things that made the woman she loved were gone forever.

Regina wasn't coming home.


End file.
